Have you noticed that most men raised by today’s above average and wealthy families end up disappointing their parents and many people who had expected them to turn out as a chip of the old block or even better?
What we see now is the rise of the children of the not so privilledged into prominence in all areas of life. Do you feel bad that your privileged son to whom you provided all you could is not doing well at all? It has nothing to do with the work of “your enemies” but a harvest of what you sowed long before today.
Were you not the person that gave your lovely son a false start in life? You had sworn that none of your children would ever suffer while you were still alive. You robbed them of the opportunities to experience difficulties that would have made them gain life taught lessons as you played the role of the defender of the universe in their lives.
Perhaps you prayed so hard for a male child and you begot him and you vowed to always make him happy at all cost. You met all his needs and wants at his beck and call and he never heard a “no” from you. He has now grown up with an entitlement mentality and nobody, not even you, can change him. It’s now a part of him.
Madam, was it not you who would harass your husband to submission until money was made available to finance your boy’s wants? Most times you would do the “extortion” in his presence or even scolded your spouse for being so mean or wicked to your son.
Oga, u bragged to friends and relations that your son would attend high fees paying schools not necessarily for academics but to mix up with his likes- the children of the rich. It was sold to you and you believed it that if your children attended same schools with children of the rich that their future would be brighter. Now use your tongue to count your teeth.
You once sacked a house maid for scolding your child. How dare she do that? What did she know? Who were her parents? The ancient beneficial African saying that “everyone in the community trains a child” is barbaric to you. Hence you will have to enjoy your pain alone.
The result of your ‘pampering’ training philosophy of your male child, who is now a grown man with no sense of industry but an expert in enjoyment, a dude, ladies’ man and a power dresser; the bold man who could gleefully announce that he is gay or a transgender. Why not? It’s within his rights!
Most ladies who married some of these over provided for male children live in hell. The wives suddenly realise that they were emotionally duped as they inherit babies as husbands long before they get pregnant. The courageous ones run out of the marriage while many others are trapped in or persuaded by their mothers-in-law or forced by economic insecurity to help continue baby sitting a grown man.
Some of these grown but buffeted male children believe that their needs must be taken care of by their parents, wives or siblings. They have become perpetual dependants.
A male child needs special training. He must learn to believe in and practice the culture of hard work. He should be told that his present comfort is a tenancy not a possession.
A male child should be made to visit a motherless babies’ home or handicapped people’s facilities often to understand how unfair life is and how blessed and privileged he is. Get him to do vacation jobs to learn the dignity in labour. If you handle him well, he will appreciate and understand that he is blessed.
Never you arrange exam success for your son as he would grow to see cheating as a way of life. Let him repeat an exam if he fails and emphasize the need for him to study harder to pass.
Teach your little son that to be a man is to work hard, love God, love family and have a good heart.
Get your son today to read biographies of self made great men easily found in bookshops.
Look around and see how well the children of the yesterday’s wealthy men and women have fared. Many of them have mismanaged inherited multi-billion currency businesses while some others abandoned such businesses and relocate to Europe or North America for easy life.
It’s evident that children of the rich whose mothers were strict and or disciplinarians, a disposition the children hated as they were growing up, turn out better human beings and successful in life. Therefore, mothers have a crucial role to play since most wealthy men are always out of the house at the formative ages of the children. (A very baffling trend.)
However, only a foolish man would leave the job of raising a male child in the hands of the wife alone. A smart man must get involved or he would end up working hard for nothing.
If you are comfortable or rich and could bring up your son well, your wealth shall be his foundation for greatness otherwise he will scatter with a shovel what you had gathered with a rake.
Interestingly, this also applies to the female child.
Good luck as we train our children in truth and with love.
Chi Vivianne Ifedioranma