I usually murmur “same to you” or “may your curses return to you” or “may all negative prayers directed at me not be answered” anytime I finish addressing my colleagues in our usual shredding sessions or meetings to shape their inclinations towards achieving set goals or to correct what I deem behavioral deviations.
A man was once a boy. I was there before. I know how it is to be a subordinate under various types of bosses. But the work has to be done.
Does the frowning face of a ram dissuade the owner from selling it in the market? Growing beard as the owner is not enough qualification for a he-goat to engage in superiority battle with its owner.
This piece may interest young foot soldiers in many professions who could no longer tolerate the antics or wickedness of their bosses in the office. They pray and wish that something tragic happens to their bosses, the minimum being that the bosses be sacked.
Yes, the boss should taste and savour the sack flavour having recommended many subordinates for disengagement and has appeared as the only good thing that has happened to the company.
It would be only just for the wicked to taste a chunk of his own poison. The wicked shall not go unpunished. The boss could as well die and face God’s judgement. It’s that bad. “Am I not nearly being killed by my boss’ emotional torture?” a disillusioned staff would say.
“What does the boss do in the office? Nothing!” some subordinates think.
He starts the day by reading newspapers, then chats with his friends, goes shopping, makes long phone calls, receives girlfriends or boyfriends in the office, goes for short time in a nearby motel and asks for daily performance reports in the evening.
Many bosses are also adjudged by subordinates as Lucifer’s assistants in human form to punish them. Otherwise, how does one explain their mindful wickedness?
“Are we not the persons doing the job?”, the subordinates would always ask themselves; saying “the boss only knows how to issue instructions and we figure out how to achieve the results which he claims and gets promotion for doing nothing but at our expense”.
“What does this wicked boss mean by always saying that he had paid his own dues? Did we collect the dues from him? For how long shall we wait to enjoy the fruits of our own labour?” the subordinates query.
“The most painful part is that this useless madam of a boss does not push for our promotion or let the management know those responsible for the achievement of the results”, a junior would periodically murmur in confusion especially when the staff was reliably informed by a squeal in HR that the boss did not recommend any of her subordinates for promotion despite their excellent performance.
“The very week I recited Psalm 109 for God to immediately judge my boss, that same week she was promoted and was given a car and ticket for two to Dubai”, a distraught staff bemoaned.
“This man is very classless; he doesn’t even notice me despite my green light and efforts to showcase my endowment”, a disappointed female subordinate whined.
The boss appeared stuck with a particular babe, shifting all profitable accounts or business to her. “I can’t buy the excuse that Sandra is the only effective staff in this office; she must also be effective in the other room with Oga”, a neglected envious female staff thinks.
The above and many more are the lamentations of subordinates in a work place.
As an alumnus of this subordinates’ school, I could understand the frustration of my subordinates when I have to do what I’m expected to do as a management staff.
In my tortuous journey to the top, I have learnt that the guys that load or offload the trailer-loads of rice in the market make less money than the owner of the rice.
I also know that the herdsmen following and sleeping with the cattle in the forests do so for their masters in the northern cities of Daura, Gombe, Bama and Zamfara.
I was amused when subordinates of a guy who used to work under me started complaining openly about my former staff who is now their boss.
They accused him of all that this same guy had confided in a common friend about me when he was working under me.
I only now realized that the stupid boy was watching me and was taking note while complaining. What an irony!
If you are a subordinate today, be patient. Study your boss especially the one that the management believes is performing, dissect his/her management styles and find out how he/she gets those sterling results for you and your colleagues on a sustained way.
You may also need to watch how he/she manages the impression of the management and board to recognize him/her as a performer.
Only those subordinates who have demonstrable abilities to squeeze out results or performance from hardworking colleagues would be appointed bosses.
The most hardworking person may never be made a boss.
The boss’ job is well cut out- that is to squeeze out performance from the subordinates as a juicer does to a basketful of oranges.
The good news is that it is a matter of time before a daughter relives her mother’s childbirth experience in the labour room.
I wish to use this medium to apologize to all my former bosses.
I now know better.
By Anayo M. Nwosu