This generation will go down in history as one of the most confused lots.



A man wants a woman who rides the storm and earns her money, and yet wants her to be the neck and he the head. Whatever happened to two good heads being better than one good head and one good neck.

Our fathers back in the days were the head because they protected, provided and preserved. So our mothers were not just the neck, they were the torso that bears the burden of the whole body.

A woman wants a man who is pliable, malleable and tamed and yet she finds the security of the masculine authority of a leader; spiritual, political or professional.

She wants a man who doesn’t feel ashamed to show his emotions, who laughs, cries and throws banters/tantrums and yet a man is supposed to be a bastion of sobriety and a modicum of conservatism.

A man wants a woman who takes everything he throws at her but he refuses to realize that times have changed. That not only are women getting empowered by the day, they have shown demonstrable ability, and even willingness to ride the storm of existence on their own and on their own terms.

A woman wants where equality means no delineation of accepted behaviors and professions based on gender roles. Anyone can become anything and not be judged through the prism of gender. But yet a man is celebrated for his culinary skills and for changing his daughter’s diapers and he is mocked for being broke and a gossip. Who would have known that culinary skills, diaper change, gossip and “brokeness” are the exclusive preserve of the female gender? Not in this woke age.

Where a man accepts that masculinity and headship are no longer demonstrated by brute physical strength like the days of our fathers but by some level of success in ones’ chosen field, and yet would still gladly descend to domestic abuse and violence to reenact superiority when the chips are down.

Where a woman would expect every of her “baby girl” dreams and aspirations to flow freely from a man while she settles down to mani-pedicure only to frown at the piper dictating the tunes.

Truth be told, it’s all too confusing for some of us.
This is the space in time where we transit from ancient to modernity.
From self deception to awareness. From complacency to a rude awakening.

It’s like a mid time crisis.
We didn’t walk into it. It dawned on us, in all of its strangeness.

I only look forward to when we will arrive at our peaceful places, a place of individually negotiated compromises, being comfortable under our skins.

When these comparisons and competitions won’t be necessary.

When every man and woman would only strive to be a better version of him/herself, and not in relation to someone else.

Ugo Finian

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