THINGS THAT MAKE RELATIONSHIP WORK, THE CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE  – FRED OBETOH

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Relationship is one human attribute that christian must have  just like every other person. The way the christian sees a relationship  wouldnt be the way a non believer does. The need to have relationship is one key attribute that every christian must know and how to sustain this is what becomes important. Just like we have various types of relationship as it was deminstrated in the bible, that is also the way we must have mode on conduct in these relationship. The  ability to have this notion in mind would eventually determine  the success or failure of these relationships. Relationship ge soured not becuase the parties involved intend that it does so, on many  occasions, relationships hit the rock because many do not know how to  cultivate, sustain and nurture these relationship. We would be looking at various types of rekationship and what we can do to sustain this relationship.

 

Always  Show Kindness:

Ephesians 4:32, And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. To build a good relationship you have to be kind to one another. What is a relationship? The Relationship is to be connected, to work together, to do everything in common, then why separate yourself? When two become one , they know each other’s mindset. When you start saying I, you start personifying your actions and decisions. “Let this mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus” but we are no longer like that. Be of one mind with your partner. Have you been kind lately? Some people take Kindness for foolishness, no! Kindness is not foolishness, it is simply doing the will of the master.

 

Before we can proceed on how we can sustain any relationship, be it father and son, man and woman or any type, let us have a broad defnition of the term “relationship.” According to Oxford’s dictionary, it puts relationship as “The way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected.The state of being connected by blood or marriage.The way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave towards each other and finally an emotional and sexual association between two people.”

 

From the above mentioned defnition, we can deduce that relationship entails two parties and for this to work, there must be attributes and these attributes are key factors that would entail if that relationship would either work or crumble like  a pack of cards. these are the key attributes.

 

 

The parties must as a matter of fact Compliment each other:

Genesis 2:20, And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for a him. Learn to compliment each other, as this improves the self esteem of your spouse. Tell your partner what they are doing right not what they are doing wrong. Telling your husband or wife what another couple is doing better is wrong. Don’t compare yourselves to other people. In a relationship, you are meant to play your part. A wife that plays her role effectively is celebrated by her husband, the Bible says in proverbs 31:11, ” The heart of her husband doth trust in her…. Women should pray success into their husband’s life. Proverbs 18:22 ” whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of God”, the reason a woman has a womb is to first deliver success to her husband.

 

 As a Christian there must be Good appearance and Godly conduct:

A man does not get married to a woman for her abilities, but for her character. Your character is what makes you stand out. Genesis 3:21, “Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skin, and clothed them”,always appear good looking. Looking good is Godly. Be contented as well, “But godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6). Women, even if you are married for 20years always look like today’s bride. Men, look smart and neat always, it tells good of your person and family. Couples should always know that their looking good is for their partner to admire and appreciate and not to show off to the world. Wear your clothes now that you are amongst the living, when death comes they won’t be yours anymore. Do not be afraid of what people would say or do if you look good. Men don’t lazy about in your own home, help your wife to keep the home clean, help her when she is weak, help her by being a good example to her so that she can make amends and stop calling her lazy.

 

 In a  marriage  relationship, Both parties must as a rule Maintain good hygiene:

“Cleanliness is next to Godliness”, “As you lay your bed, so you lie on it”. Always arrange your home, keep it clean and pleasant. Dropping weaves on tables or carelessly is wrong and contaminate other surfaces, as unkempt hairs can harbor harmful bacteria. Leaving crumbs in your cars invites rodents and insects. Ensure your whole house is neat and maintain good personal hygiene. Always appear neat and kept. If your partner does not play with you the way like or the way they use to, check yourself, there might be something you are not keeping clean enough.

 

The Need to be open becomes imperative, Accountability and transparency is crucial:

Keep your home intact and be very  open to each other, especially in financial matters. Both parties in marriage is wise. One should not see him or herself wiser than the other, that attitude would be satanic. Learn to say you are sorry, learn to withdraw before the discussion or situation turns into a problem.1John 2:16…and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but of the world.

 

Integrity must be a key factor: 

In the book of psalm 25:21 “Let integrity and uprightness preserve me ; for I wait on thee”. A relationship without integrity will collapse. Matthew 5:37 “But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay,… Everyone must strive to have integrity. Talent can take you up there, but it is integrity that will keep you there.

 

The need to have Patience and Endurance:

1 Thessalonians 5:14 “Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient towards all men”. Be patient with your partner, be patient in your marriage. Wife’s be patient to understand the behavior, character, likes, dislike of your husband. Husband’s endure your wife’s excesses, Colossians 1:11 “Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and long-suffering with joyfulness”. What you don’t understand time will address it.

 

Truth and Reality: Husbands and wives should be truthful and honest in their dealings. According to Barton Goldsmith , an Emotional Fitness expert he said “When you have a relationship and a family, you need to know that everyone is on the same page, and this is hard to do unless both of you are being honest. … Honesty is not just about telling the truth, either. It is also about telling the truth in a way that your partner will hear it and benefit from it.”

 

 

Message from

FAITH CATHEDRAL CHURCH

Egbeda

Lagos State

www.fcim.com.ng

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