And the baby died: The Predicaments Of African Woman – Nkechi Bianze

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Some years ago, when I was a child, a distant relative lost his wife. She started bleeding at 7months, and was rushed into a hospital. The doctors decided to conduct an emergency cesarean on her, and before she lost consciousness, she told the doctors that the husband was going to make the decision concerning her.

The husband refused to give consent for a cesarean. Reason 1: he didn’t want his twins to be premature. Reason 2: he wanted the wife to push like the mythical Hebrew woman.

Well, to cut the long story short, his wife died while pushing. They operated her corpse and only one of the twins survived.

He remarried the following year. The survivor of the twins is 20-21 by now.

My aunty was pregnant five years ago. She did all her antenatal in the church. She went to the church as soon as she got into labour. After more than 24hours of labour and wasted pushing, seeing she was dying, she was rushed from the church maternity room to the hospital.

They realized that she was one of the small percentage of women on earth, whose pelvics cannot allow vagina delivery. This is something that could have been observed if she had gone to the hospital for antenatal. You know, like other women with functional brains do.

The team struggled to save her life. They did an emergency cesarean to bring out the dead baby.

She had the cesarean.
She had a dead baby.
She had a needless episiotomy…. inflicted by the church “midwife” who never saw the walls of a University or even any school of nursing.

She willfully and ignorantly wasted her nine months and killed her innocent baby. Scared herself for life and almost killed herself because she and her husband are the king and Queen of stupid.

I have at least ten of such stories…. stories of stupid men and women who lost/killed their babies and wives all in the name of “Hebrew woman” bullshit.
But I will stop here. As Nigerians, we see and hear of this brand of stupidity everyday. Doctors, nurses and healthcare workers would tell you more.

I don’t know why some people are so adamant in their Ignorance.
Healthcare workers and researchers are working day and night to research and reduce maternal mortality, but some Nigerians are very determined to increase the figures.

Some silly men and woman who call themselves pastors carry on brainwashing their gullible members with the “Hebrew woman” and faith healing nonsense.

I came to realize that some women do not even know their rights.

Listen dear women.

The only person whose consent is needed to carry out a cesarean on a woman is the woman whose body the cesarean would be carried out on.

As long as a patient is an adult who is conscious, sane, not under the influence of anything that might have affected her consciousness or sanity, and mentally fit to make informed decision, that patient is the person whose consent is needed.

Your husband DOES NOT have to consent to what the doctor or nurse should do to your body. It is YOU that decides what happens to your body.

The decision making goes to your husband, next of kin and/or any adult member of your family, only if you are not capable of making the decision yourself, for any reason.

Even at that, any decision besides your own decision can actually be challenged in your own best interests. It depends of the jurisdiction, the situation of your health, and how critical such a decision is to your short and long term wellbeing.

You are the one who decides how you want to have your baby. NOT YOUR HUSBAND!

It is your body for goodness sake.
My oh my!‍♀️
Am I even supposed to be spelling this out for you?

If your husband doesn’t like the decision you’ve made in your own best interest because his great grandmother, grand mother and all his female ancestors pushed out twelve children through the vagina, let him get pregnant and push the baby out himself.

The baby is in your womb. Your body, your decision.

You can stupidly form submission and die, you hear? Your husband will marry a new wife, even before your soul starts resting in peace or pieces. Maybe he would even get married to that your single best friend.

I feel nauseous whenever I hear that a woman died because the husband refused to consent to a life saving procedure, for whatever stupid religious or traditional reasons. The first question I always ask is “Was the woman conscious and capable of making the decision?”. If the answer is yes, but she left the decision to her husband for whatever reason, I hiss at another “assisted suicide”.

Make enquiries and save up enough money for your birth. Save up like you would need the most expensive procedure. The excuse that it is the man who pays the hospital bill, so he gets to make decisions according to his pocket is beginning to sound silly these days.
Husband or not, you cannot leave a decision that might mean life or death for you entirely to another human being.

Pastors and church leaders need to stop deceiving their members.
Family members need to educate their family members.

This is 2017, we can’t afford needless deaths due to blatant stupidity.

Think people… because like my prof always told us; no one ever died from using his or her brain to think.

All Rights Reserved, © Nkechi Bianze

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