This is directed to young men with hot blood in their veins who would no longer tolerate the attitudes of their wives and who are on the verge of throwing their wives that have for them out of their homes.
You could go ahead to divorce your wife if you don’t wish to have anything to do with her children. But, if you love your children they way pentecostals love Jesus but would have nothing to do with Mary, his Mother then you are in for a latter day shocker.
No matter a man’s efforts in endearing himself to his children of his estranged wife, there is a pent up anger and animosity in those children as they are not happy over their mother’s changed status. It is a matter of time for it to show especially when the children are still young and still need the father for financial support.
Do you know that many children would expect their fathers to forgive their adulterous or spiritually ruinous mother? They would say “Daddy I understand, but please forgive her”. And they mean it.
Children are known to be moved more by the tears of their mother than the truth from their father. Mothers know this and actfully use this manipulative spot to chain their children to themselves.
I noticed that I have seen lost my children to my wife to the extent that they openly thank her in my presence for buying items I provided money for. They frown anytime they notice that I don’t talk to their mum over an issue that doesn’t concern them.
Would my children expect me to be all smiles in the morning if their mother was too tired in the night to attend to the real Ikenga Ezenwegbu?
Many men push their wives out of the house over issues that are resolvable. It is even worse when your children watch you mistreat and maltreat their mother. They feel murderous and would react in future. This could be in form of choosing to remain abroad after schooling and taking their mum to wipe away her tears. You could be neglected at your old age when you need your children to surround you. It is a lonely path full of regrets.
My mother had forewarned me on my wedding night on the need not to let my children witness any quarrel with my wife just as we, her children never saw her quarrel with my dad openly.
Mama Obiora’s advice resonated well in my cranium and is becoming clearer following my son’s wrongful interpretation when he caught me in one cold night, on top of his mother thinking that I was actually beating her. We thought that the boy had slept off.
Igbos give their children “Nneka” as a name which means that “mother is supreme” and it is true.
If as a man, you are hell bent on sending your wife packing and still hope to retain the love of your children even if you presently have their custody, you’re dreaming. Those children will eventually look for their mother to wipe away her tears and declare you the guilty one. It is natural.
By Anayo M. Nwosu
