Marriages, Social Media and Societal Distortion

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Social media has come to stay with its (de)merits and this is very important to note. Today, we have seen slay queens and the popularity of “baby mamas” , a term named for women that had children outside wedlock. What in sane climes they call illegitimate children. Well, no child is illegitimate but what is illegitimate is the way the child came to the world. Marriage is the only form of legitimacy and still is. With the coming of social media , divorce has been made to look cool and feminist preachers everywhere. The gospel is , if he hits you…Take a walk.

Though, values have  been sacrificed at the altar of westernization and globalization. What was frowned at by our forefathers is what is cool today. With violence videos everywhere and men taking to beating their wives ….A situation that will make Anthony Joshua seems like a lightweight fighter. They have taken their wives to be a punching bag. This was unAfrican! But,that doesn’t mean that a little slap here or there is bad. Domestic violence is what we frown upon in Africa and that status quo has always remained. It is unmanly to hit a woman

In Igbo land, there is a saying that goes like this ” when you beat your goat for eating some neighbours yam, don’t fail to blame the neighbour for keeping his yam carelessly. ” The women folks aren’t exonerated here…The married women don’t seem to understand them they are married anymore. Maybe too much telemundo has messed up some of their brain.  Running to social media for advise or to slay  and we know what happens in social media….Fake lives, fake doing and definitely fake advise and what do we see. A lot of divorce is been happening lately and we act as if nothing is wrong, while the main fabric of the society is being  distorted or destroyed! One of the major culprits is the social media malaise.

We have gotten used to the pre wedding pictures, prenuptial agreement and we are getting used to married women snapping their pregnancies ! A God given gift to mankind,  but today it is called a baby bump. What a travesty! Terming pregnancy a bump. A bump has always connoted a disruption  in a smooth movement and for a pregnancy to be classified as a bump …It then means that it has disrupted  the slaying mode of the woman in question.  Next, we hear baby shower. I don’t get that concept of a baby shower. What is showering there. Now, what they are sticking down our throats are these two things.

 

They want us to know that premarital sex is cool and you can have kids out of wedlock without any form of remorse or contrite…They named it baby mama syndrome and now they make it look that divorce is absolutely normal and possibly cheating in marriage isn’t something bizarre or out worldly but a cool way to live. Thus, the feminist and the new world,  people are shoving down on us. As a parent, I get worried and I am still worried. We are getting used to the cross dressers like boborisky. (S)he might be doing it for his admirers mostly ,kids and impressionable one. Maybe ,his Instagram followers. I think he can be classified as an entertainer. Just like his friend Denrele, the weavon wearing man. Denrele, as it can be gathered is an educated fellow and this worries parents like us. After spending resources to train a child in the university only for him to come out to be a cross dresser. It might not be worrying to others , but to sane people ,it is. Why send them to school and have them turn out that way ? I think the money should have been used for poultry farming maybe fish farming. Oh yes, they are making money , but the question is ; is money everything what about the societal values?

 

 
Back to divorce, women run out of marriage for flimsy reasons these days. Well, why come and disturb the society with your pictures of swollen eyes and hands ? Aren’t you the one that claimed that you loved him? Have you forgotten that love conquers all. Now back to love , that term is an illusion and not found in African context. Romeo wasn’t an African, he was an European ,same with Juliet . If you doubt this, ask Mr. Shakespeare. Mr. Jack of Titanic isn’t African ,maybe Irish or something and we know that in African, to get married , love isn’t the criteria. Africa look at compatibility, the family history and other important things like crime record of the family. This was the way it is done in Igbo land then. I don’t know as of now and you see that marriages last longer. Same in other tribes. Glottalization brought us love, courtship and all funny terms . Unlike before, our parents didn’t date but just got married. Their marriages lasted ! But, daddy we love each other today is the norm and tomorrow daddy ,I am done with the marriage !

 

Since this year, we have seen a lot of celebrity divorce. Not that they aren’t human, but what is worrying in the this trend is that these celebrities having baby mama and divorcing are public figures and the young ones ha e an idea of wanting to become like them. Most kids want to either be an actress or a diva, maybe a rapper. Few want to be doctors or teacher. This distortion of marriage is disturbing, to sane minds . We see pictures of abused women daily , be it on-line or social media, the society will respond with, oh the man is a beat, why don’t she walk out of the marriage ? And do many comments,  but what we haven’t asked is ; what did the woman door for her to get such a treatment ?

After the Beijing conference or fiasco in the 1990s, a lot of prophets came to town and they planted seeds. They came with some exotic gospel that distorted our social fabric and changed the African narratives all the way from Asia.Coming with a gospel of ” women and men are equal” Forgetting that even the simplest animals like ants even have a leader. Now, if a man is the head of home ,why should a woman undermine his authority. It can be tantamount to treasonable offence. We all know the consequences. Not all men have that endurance limit of that British gentleman​ that will overlook. We are talking about  Africans here and some different culture. So the woman must come to terms with the cultural milieu she finds herself and comport herself.

Staying in a country like ours is hellish already with a lot of stuffs going on a man’s mind and for a woman to compound this problem is taking the joke too far. A slap here or there will automatically reset the brain to factory settings and reformat the drive. Not that I support domestic violence. I am totally against it and I believe in walking away principle only if the beating is life threatening. Not just spankings here and there !

As a Christian , Muslim principle to marriage sometimes ,I admire it and you rarely see Muslim married women snapping and looking too dapper and slaying on social media. They can’t slay without their husband’s consent. That is what is called decorum and seeking permission before an act is done. Even in corporate organisations, not everybody speaks to the public and there are people designated to do such and they must get authorization from the CEO. That is the same thing with marriage.

When Eve are the apple, God asked her question but God knew that Adam was the head and he requested for Adams position and delivered the messages …Genesis
So, why this madness of divorce everywhere and the issue of married women trying to slay more than a single woman. Some married woman even said and I do read it online that the husband has no right to ask her why she is going out….Tagging it “freedom of movement and association”.

A popular Nollywood actress divorced and she was beaten blue black based on some action and we know her history well. She went online to showcase the beating. Well, i am not impressed because i see it as acting and she walked away from the marriage next we see is posting tons of pictures on social media . What is she sending? What message is she delivering…Is it cool, where is contrition here . This is following after the demise of the fair actress. Background research has shown that the actress and others before they chased the wives of the men they married and got the man hooked. It has always been the same story. And they failed to forget that Mr.Nemesis is one funny visitor that will never fail to deliver . When Mr Nemesis and Mrs Karma visits, everything will be exposed. How can you use your beauty and sexuality to make a man divorce or chase away his legitimate wife and marry you? Do you expect that all will be well with you ? That’s the question Mr Nemesis will ask you . We totally agree that some men are terrible and also we do understand that the hustle for husband is real. But, that shouldn’t warrant desperado tendencies in our pretty women !
As it stands now , most of Nigerians celebs are narcissistic, not all anyway. Everything has to be photoshopped , pictures to entertain deluded people online and fortunately they are many. She must be having a laugh thinking can brush off something serious like divorce or marital violence.

We judge the man not knowing that some women’s joy is entertaining the crowd by practicing narcissism. All about themselves, not knowing the meaning of marriage. As for  the men.

The advise is and it is in an adage. The Igbo adage goes like this….If a man wants to marry a woman, first is that he should go and get a puppy and train it for years. If he can successfully train that puppy then he is ready to get married. Marriage isn’t or boys and it’s about age. It is about psychological make up and maturity. Parents have a role to play in the upbringing of their children. But, how can a child be well brought up when we have baby mamas everywhere and divorced women up and down ? The earlier we start working on our social values the better for us. Failure to correct this anomaly,posterity will see us in a bad light .

 
Anthony Emeka Nwosu

love , that term is an illusion and not found in African context. Romeo wasn’t an African, he was an European ,same with Juliet . If you doubt this, ask Mr. Shakespeare. Mr. Jack of Titanic isn’t African ,maybe Irish or something and we know that in African, to get married , love isn’t the criteria. Africa look at compatibility, the family history and other important things like crime record of the family. This was the way it is done in Igbo land then. I don’t know as of now and you see that marriages last longer.

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